holy fuck cow. READ THE FUCKING TITLE. WHERE HAVE I BEEN. Man, haven't updated this stagnant pool of fuck for ages. I am pretty bored now that's why I am doing this. Her phone's off and I am itching for her voice in my head. Terrible feeling.

The Previous post i updated when during my semester vacation and now, it is yet again the semester vacation. Results are coming out a little more than a weeks time and we all said we gave our best. Well, I reckon I probably wouldn't do too well, but I've got this feeling that for once, I'll be satisfied. Got myself a job at PS cafe(Project Shop Cafe) as a part-timer. I am in desperate need of cash. Not THAT desperately but yeah, it's along the flow.

Many a times, after skipping much formalities, people tend to let go of what they used to held on to the tightest. And many a times they often regret their decision. Why is the human soul such a frickle device. It's like how we hate our parents for restricting us so much but when we don't get to see them for a period of time, we miss them. Speaking for the majority, I too sometimes feel this way.

Many do suppose that freedom granted by parents is a necessity. But no. It is a luxury. Barriers are constructed to prevent the downfall of the little ones. The barrier that seem so ugly, is actually crafted out of love. Who are the ones you can turn to in times of trouble? Who will actually give up everything for our survival?

Our soul mate, for what we all perceive and recreate, my life.. I love you.
If I could only stop the car, and hold on to you.

yes i do. badly. need a job. there are so many things i wanna do but am financially constrained. i need to buy a new bag for school since its reopening rather soon. sooner than i want it to be. i needa start on what i have left off. alone and cold. i have to find myself back. where can i be possibly hiding in the urban fuck.

this could be my chance to break out.

I have come to learn that money isn't everything in life. There is more to life than just the materialistic complexity of modern world. I used to love money alot. Coming from an average family, I was given pocket money that would help me survive in school. I had something for brands. I had this liking for branded goods, especially when clothing is concern. I longed to be rich. To have the power to buy anything I want. And to buy happiness. I loved money.

Till you left me.

what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone forget every thing and start over with me
would you take my hand, and never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go;

it's been a long time since the last update. hope everything is fine for everyone. school's fine. life's not so nice to me. nothing much to do at home on a lonely saturday afternoon huh. one week ago was like my last happy moment and i didn't see that coming.

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

you mean the world to me.
i would give up everything i have, just to hold on to you forever.
without you in my life, i would be better off dead.
you are the love of my life.
i love you so much that you will take a lifetime to understand it all.
i love you.

baby i love you so much i cant find any words to express myself. i sometimes fear that one day we might not be together. i really love you alot. please never ever let me go.

hi everyone.. it's a monday just after the 1st common test week, and i have been hospitalised. got a few asthma attacks. got admitted this morning and i wont be discharged till tomorrow night, or even wednesday morning. it's really boring here and lucky i am able to tap off the wireless lan here. =))) if not it would really be a torturous stay here. i missed today's business management tutorial and econs tutorial. and will miss tmr's business management lecture and and business computing applications' resource session and workshop. gotta catch up man..

hi hasnt it been quite awhile since i last blogged.
alright, im getting quite used to poly life and i think its rather fun. it's almost completely different from the secondary school days yeah. but i have to admit i do miss those fun days back in barker. so for me, new school, new environment, and new friends. but how would i ever forget the old ones?! =) however i think im getting lost in the modules (or SUBJECTS) that i take. i and rather blur about what they are teaching and its maybe due to the fact that i havent been paying attention during the lectures and sometimes, not even attending them. i reckon a change in this unacceptable tradition since the start of poly. i know i'll have to be disciplined. it is my future!! some one please knock some sense into me, before it becomes habitual. speaking about habits, i would really wanna stop smoking, for a particular person. but it's hard. i would also love to save the money and my health but its really difficult. someone, anyone out there, please save me from myself.

And won't you think I'm pretty

   I know I've let you down time and time again. I didn't keep to my promises and i broke them. I was selfish and didn't cared about how you felt. I made a mistake and promised you i would not repeat it, but still I went against your will yet again. My apologies worth nothing in your eyes cos I made it sound so easy to say that I'm sorry. I really am trying very hard and I hope you understand the pain I go through. Only if you could see this and help me get pass this phrase.
   We will be so happy together.

well, it all started off on a wednesday 18th may. went to school (ngee ann poly) at 1pm. was suppose to meet team leader yanni at 1230 but i woke up at 1215 and took a cab down. sigh.. it was very crowded. didnt know anyone there. after the speeches we went to our classes and my class was like.. hmmmm alrightt.. now where do i start?! haha i expected a handful of hot babes turning up since i was in the banking and financal service course. haha you can say i was rather disappointed. but nevertheless, my mates were nice people ya.. so went we went to our classes/group, the SCs approached me to ask me if i was interested in being a mascot. hmmm.. sounds quite lame but they were so nice so i just agreed. little did i know, the mascot thingy was the ngee ann bA pageant! like MY LORD, would it be embarassing?!
so on the 2nd day, thursday 19th may, we all had to report at canteen one at 730. sian 1/2. as usually, the activities didnt start till 9 plus.. thursday was games day. all the teams running around the whole school. in the end at around 12 plus, i think my team was the fastest, and therefore won.. =) after the games we had lunch. lunch was followed by a briefing but since i was in the "MASCOT" i had to go for a different briefing. then was the practice. we were suppose to parade in our mascot, which mine was the ZORRO one. after the mascot, we were to change into our evening outfit(formal wear) and do a small dance with our partner and a pose, infront of all the bA people!! my lord save me please.
3rd day friday 20th may, all the pegeant peeps had to report to school at 830, when the rest started strolling thru the gates at 130?!? sighhhh.. however, the pegeant people were a really nice bunch of people seriously. it was really very fun and we took a hell lots of photos, which will be uploaded soon not to worry. so friday, mainly was performance by different sections, and the pegeant thingy. fun fun fun!! after the whole thing, we were all tired out till my legs were really aching. sigh. about half of the peagent people, joel garrick ratch patience joeann deone questal, CALEB YES MY BUDDY IS ALSO IN IT, and me, went for dinner at meridien, at the seafood restaurant. nice food pls. kang kong, sting ray, fried calamari, prawns with tofu, 2 servings of each, 8 dishes althogether.. cost us merely 84 bucks which means like a less than 10 each. not bad right?!
all the pageant people were really fun and now as i blog i really miss them so much i wish we could have our own class.. haha, but nevertheless, we will still be hanging out more often and have fun together!! =)
pls look out for the photos soon ya?